The monumental question "Who Am I?" often arises over the course of our lives and we ignore it at our peril.
As simple as it sounds many of us just go along from birth to death without a pause.
This vital question requires our answer. In fact, if we choose not to pause or reflect and ask this question of ourselves from time to time, we run the risk of becoming adrift. As simple as it sounds many of us just go along from birth to death without pause and our lives can lack genuine-ness and purpose.
This 'Who am I?' is a grounding question (like an anchor to stop us from drifting off into dangerous waters) often arising during pivotal stages of our lives. There is a first inner enquiry, often in our teenage years as we grow out of childhood into transition for adulthood.
Chances are, we are so busy in adulthood making things happen, that we don't take pause time because our focus has been on - establishing relationships, careers, employment, having kids, earning money to keep ourselves and families afloat. We may have not even considered or been shown how to take time out to pause - to dream, to gain perspective or ask that "Who Am I?" question.
As explained by participants:
"When I was much younger, wounded and a very sad soul at the time, I realised through much turmoil, that if I was going to survive this life that I needed to find out who I was and what direction I needed to head. Because I knew if I kept on the course I was going, the consequences would be more of the same and misery and bitterness would define me."
"I learnt that as much as I didn't want to take a step out of the comfy mudhole my life had become, that no-one else would do it for me. When I finally summoned the courage to call a Counsellor it was the first step out of misery towards a better future. I didn't realise it at the time, but this one simple action changed the destination of my future for the better. In this safe space, my counsellor assisted me on the first steps out of 'drifting miserableness' and into choosing a life based on who I was and what I wanted to do with this one life I had to live. The choice was mine!"
"My adult search for my true ID on my journey of self discovery required time and attention to every aspect of who I was becoming and the most worthwhile of all my human endeavours - body, mind, emotion and spiritual make-up. It was fear that had prevented me exploring my self identity for far too long."
"For me, it was the spiritual aspect that had been on hold and ignored. It was like gaining wings not only to fly but to soar! "
Our human make-up is physical as well as mental, emotional and spiritual. To leave one of these out creates an imbalance. We may need to work on one more than another - only we will know what part needs strengthening and is most out of condition.
For us, there maybe defining moments wondering- "Who am I or will the real me please stand up?" and we don;t allow time in our busy lives - to listen and ponder what we want to be, who we want to become and where we want to end up.
If we have never stopped to consider this question or to develop even further - "Who am I becoming?" - our current position might have us wondering how did I end up here? Many of us will be confused about what is real. Even though we sense there is something more, we attempt to settle for a reality based on what our culture defines as normal, healthy and therefore real. But does popular culture define who I really am?
Fears can set in- real or imagined and we spend lifetimes stuck - trying our utmost to pretend we have got it all together or following societal culture. We may endure being unfulfilled and even settle for counterfeit ways of being. The symptoms of which are restlessness, discontent, negativity, unrealistic expectations and often finding fault with others = M I S E R A B L E.
Some of us maybe confused about what is real. We sense there is something more but cannot seem to get 'there' in spite of our best attempts. We can drift through our life stages from birth to death without having reached a destination/s. This often causes confusion, bewilderment and anxieties which can be prevented with the help of a simple 'Pause and think on that!'
Perhaps the struggle is with a relationship that has gone stale, have become solo again, are now drinking more, looking for love in all the wrong places, kids have left home and now are alone again, never found a lifetime partner, had a long term relationship or have spent years in accountancy and your heart was in agriculture or creative therapies? Sound familiar?
The excellent news is that our search for true identity is an exciting one that is attainable at any moment and worthy of our whole focus and attention. Regardless of our age, it is never too late to get the REAL YOU to stand up and be counted.